lost

my digital camera is gone. i packed it at home on thursday morning, and my bag sat right next to me all day at work thursday (except when i ran to the bathroom of course) and i did take it out of my bag at the office, and i know i put it right back in the bag.

then at the airport, i tried to carry my bag on the plane instead of checking it, but the attendant wouldn’t let me, saying it was too big (it’s not). in my hurried frustration i forgot to take my camera out of the bag and put it in my purse. well, how could i have remembered? it was so well-packed in the middle of my bag to ensure it wasn’t damaged …

when i went to take it out of my bag here at mom’s, it was gone.

i’ve dumped everything out ten times: nothing. i called work yesterday to ask the receptionist — who was incredibly there on our friday-off day — to check my desk: nothing. chad’s checked the house in case i hallucinated the entire thing: nothing.

it’s not that the actual item is missing, although chad gave it to me and so it has sentimental value all its own. it’s the feeling i’m left with, especially on my mini-vacation here with my mom, when all i wanted to do was take some great pictures of my family and this city.

i must admit that my first instinct is that it was stolen, not that it somehow magically fell out of the middle of my well-packed bag. i’m trying not to jump to this conclusion but i don’t know what else to think. and this makes me miserable.

i miss my camera. i miss my belief in humanity more, though.