fast-forward

you’d think, during a four-day weekend, i could find some time to write. you’d think that! my last day of work was very strange. i don’t know how else to put it. i came in, like always, only this time with my big black backpack, and put my CDs and books in it, the only things i had really “decorated” my alcove with. then i stared blankly at the clock. 07:32. wow, this is going to be a long day. i finished compiling my notes for the new librarian, and exported all my outlook contacts and appointments for her so she wouldn’t be starting from scratch like i was, and so she’d know which lunch presentations were already on the calendar. i organized some more things on the refiling cart and tried to leave everything in some...

Read More
Posted on 30 Apr 2001 | Comments Off

attention chicago livejournalers!

my mom is in a full-length independent film called “the secret”. chad and i attended the screening in l.a. last year, about which i wrote the following: wow. what can i say except my mom is already a star. “the secret” is a wonderful film and i won’t give anything away because you’re going to get to see it yourselves. i have seen my mom perform onstage in just about every role a person can play, and this is by far her strongest performance yet. i am so excited for the world to see her in this movie. chad and i just beamed with pride the whole time. she was in turns funny and cold, endearing and caustic, and the whole experience was just incredible. the entire cast is strong, the writing is good, the story is captivating …...

Read More
Posted on 27 Apr 2001 | Comments Off

jumbo jumble to go

a very weird and altogether unpleasant feeling is when you want to leave a place but don’t want the place to want you to leave it. and the place, giving some vague gesture of not wanting you to leave it, makes you want to not-leave it and leave it simultaneously. i think i need a drink. a triple hazelnut latte sort of drink, but a drink nonetheless. these are the moments in which i would have a cigarette, take a five-to-seven minute break from life to refocus and recenter. since i don’t smoke anymore, i merely waffle uselessly at the keyboard, picking apart the words i misspell. waffle. waffle. waffle. why do i keep typing “waffel”? flattery will get you nowhere. honesty will get you nowhere fast. this is the very last wednesday afternoon i...

Read More
Posted on 25 Apr 2001 | Comments Off

stuck in the mud

so chad and i decide saturday is a lovely day for a lovely drive in the lovely country, and we hop in the jeep and take off down lucas valley road, a twisty-turny creature that wombles through redwoods and farmland and residential neighborhoods in turns. it’s gorgeous. we are having a good time, i think. and then chad makes a sudden left turn. well, it wasn’t really that sudden. he did signal and come to a stop first. and announce, “i want to go down this road.” and this is where it all goes horrifyingly wrong. we bump off the nice, paved road and onto something muddily and deeply routed into the earth in huge bigfoot-tired tracks. of course i start screaming my head off; i always scream my head off in the face of death. (i tell chad later...

Read More
Posted on 24 Apr 2001 | Comments Off

23 april 1995

six years ago today, i met chad online. i wasn’t expecting him or anyone remotely like him, and for a while i almost convinced myself he wasn’t real. almost. three years ago today, we tried to get married, which is to say we tried to book our wedding on 23 april 1998, but the universe conspired against us. actually, it was just the weekend of a big race — the talladega 500 — in the birmingham area, and all the hotels were booked far in advance. since we had so many people coming in from out of town, it was implausible to hold it on a thursday and in an area without lodging. so we moved the date to the ninth of may and had a wonderful wedding. I, Halsted, take you, Chad, to be no other than yourself loving what I know of you trusting what I...

Read More
Posted on 23 Apr 2001 | Comments Off

the entry that survived

i felt sad that i wasn’t really a ramones fan when i heard joey ramone died. part of me wanted to mourn when i saw everyone else mourning. i felt this way about princess diana, too, although you know she never rocked out like joey did. or maybe she did and just never told anyone. in her royal bathroom. i go punk rawk in the shower; she could’ve too. the monthly migraine has receded, which means i can actually focus my eyes again! i was bummed to miss sushi with heath, meredith, scott and francoise in the south bay last night, but i wouldn’t have been any fun. i made a new friend yesterday. hi, alison! (which reminds me, i will miss eating chili on the roof of the crocker galleria with darius.) i miss my digital camera and my tamagotchi and my...

Read More
Posted on 20 Apr 2001 | Comments Off

playground rhymes

if i am scissors, you are glue: what i slice, sticks to you. if i am deep, you are long: what i right, makes you wrong. … jelly, jelly, jelly bean, wash your face and come back clean! jelly, jelly, jelly roll, cut in half and make you whole! jelly, jelly, jelly bear, tie your arms and pull your hair! jelly, jelly, jelly bean, if you’re nice i’m twice as mean! … the last time i went up to caldecott hill, i brought back a piece of a bit of a chill, i sneezed and i coughed and i bit my tongue off so i bought me a new one from caldecott hill.

Read More
Posted on 20 Apr 2001 | Comments Off

haiku for my premenstrual headache

sharp bursting pain in left eye-socket signifies bleeding four days hence

Read More
Posted on 19 Apr 2001 | Comments Off

dear abby

i am the lunching queen. monday was one of the admin’s birthday lunch; tuesday was the weekly lunch presentation (mm, nylon carpet fiber); wednesday was lunch with an ex-coworker now-friend; today is lunch with darius and alison. then next week, lunesse and i will go on our hot dog adventure, and i might even get a last-day-lunch with sarah. i also have to remember to have one last hurrah at the mechanics’ institute café. i don’t think many people here know i’m leaving yet. a few do, and i’ve been forced to tell some product reps that i won’t be here much longer because they’re calling to schedule appointments for two weeks from now. it’s such a strange feeling, this employment limbo. i carry my offer letter...

Read More
Posted on 19 Apr 2001 | Comments Off

the stuff about “financial gains” is all wrong

this is me leaping on the latest astrological bandwagon. emphasis is mine on parts i find particularly insightful, and the last paragraph is painfully so: Sun in Pisces, Moon in Scorpio Your nature tends to be hard and selfish, although often you are judged as more unyielding than you really are. Your innermost nature is sensitive and receptive, but you have erected an elaborate system of self-defense. You possess real business ability and the necessary energy to achieve success, if fortune cooperates. Because of your receptive, sensitive individuality, you are often misled into committing actions that you can’t possibly justify. The key to a more harmonious existence lies in concentrating your energies before they have a chance to dissipate. You have an...

Read More
Posted on 18 Apr 2001 | Comments Off