little half-tail
We pulled into the parking lot just in time to see a little white smudge pawing at a nearby car-door. It looked like a puppy with a curled tail, until I hopped out of the Jeep and saw it was a kitten, just a few months old, with only half a tail. I crouched down and she bounded toward me. Passing me by, she quickly climbed partially into the open Jeep. I laughed and picked her up; she did not resist, turning her dirty nose up to peer into my face. If I could, I’d take all the stray cats of the world home, clean them, vaccinate them, spay or neuter them, and snuggle them up all their lovely lives. But I can’t. So I let her go, and she bounded off again, paws against pavement. When we left, she had been curled up under the Jeep, where it was warm. ...
Read Morethe return of the ’sted
Six days without a phone in the room, without mobile phone service, without Internet access. Who did I miss? I missed my cat. I missed my friends. I missed my dad’s side of the family, and I missed my mom. What did I miss? I’m sure I could catch up on LiveJournal friends’ posts … eventually. But I won’t. I don’t have any motivation in that regard. Does this make me a bad person? No. I’m still here; now I know what’s important to me. Let’s catch up together, full duplex.
Read Moreturkey jerky
This will be my first Thanksgiving not spent with my father. That’s all I have to say about that. Goodbye, Bay Area. Hello, Pacific Northwest.
Read Moreregretfully yours
Even in such a temporary condition as being alive there is the permanence of your actions. You can never take anything back, especially that which you most want to. Regret, as a way of dealing with the reality of your situation, is like most things healthy in small doses, bad for you in large ones. Ten years ago I would have sneered in my older face and said, “I regret nothing!” Well, we grow up. Sometimes.
Read Morescabbed over
They moved the September 11th Memorial a little to the side of the front doors of the library, sometime during the night. Sometime during the past two months, my eye stopped twitching. When you heal, do you notice when the scab falls off? I never do. I pick at that stupid thing so it heals twice as slow, and then there is a time when I stop, I forget. It disappears; my real skin is there again and I remember what I look like whole. I miss how it was right after it happened. We were grieving so hard, and we were also scared, to the point of defining ourselves by it. Now it trails off into slow, silent pondering when the next phase will occur, where we will be, and if we are strong enough to bear it this time. But we’re never strong enough, not really. ...
Read Morewhen sleep is no release
This morning, I had a very vivid dream that bothered me as soon as I woke up, mostly because it involved a plane crash. I decided to write it down so I wouldn’t forget it. I was resting my head on Susan’s shoulder. We were going to fly up to see Mish since she couldn’t come down to see us for the rest of my trip to see her, even though it was only a four-hour drive. Suddenly, we both felt a bump and looked out the window. There was a power line right next to the wing; Susan yelled, we’re too close! we’re going to crash! And then there was a huge bump, not crash, but thud, and we were jolted around so much but our seatbelts held us in. Then the plane stopped moving. We were ordered to get off in singlefile, and don’t bring...
Read Morethe last time i did something like this
the last time i did something like this, most of my guts spilled out into the basket i was carrying, filled with dog-eared books. at home, my shelves were practically empty. i brought the books to your house to quote love poetry or maybe just some good science-fiction at you. thinking, yes: this will be the amorous declaration of the century. but instead of reading to you, i opened the books and threw them at myself. a million pages flying out at me means a million paper-cuts of jisatsu. i meant it, though; i meant to make you uncomfortable. it was merely a turning of your head. i watched your long lashes meet the edge of the picture-frame, impassive and black. my intestines wormed out from under my shirt, embarrassed by another encore. we’ll do this...
Read Moreshe’s an angel
When I am sad, I put on lyrics like favorite sweaters, layer them over me, huddle it out. She can hold onto the end of this piece of yarn, and unravel me. What follows is for me, and for her. I met someone at the dog show She was holding my left arm But everyone was acting normal so I tried to look nonchalant. We both said, “I really love you,” The Shriners loaned us cars We raced up and down the sidewalk twenty thousand million times Why did they send her over anyone else? How should I react? These things happen to other people They don’t happen at all, in fact When you’re following an angel Does it mean you have to throw your body off a building? Somewhere they’re meeting on a pinhead Calling you an angel, calling you the nicest...
Read Morebubble tea and kung fu
Sometimes, you’ve just got to try it! Yesterday, Mish and I went into San Francisco and cruised around the city, mostly in Chinatown and thereabouts. After lunch at a wonderful Japanese restaurant, we met up with Lunesse who introduced me to bubble tea! It’s wonderful, with big, chewy tapioca pearls. Happy bubble tea Luny and ‘Sted! Then in Walgreens, we discovered the secret to rodent martial arts: KUNG-FU HAMSTER! We also discovered scary Cool Mint Listerine Oral Care Strips, but we won’t get into...
Read Moretwinkle twinkle little bat
Today we walked to the thrift store and I bought three skirts, a sweater and a pair of jeans (that don’t fit — 4 regulars, anyone?) for under $40. We walked a bit further to inspect something called Merlin’s Magical Kingdom which happened to be a special party room attached to Round Table Pizza. What a disappointment! I was hoping for a rest home for old wizards. A short walk after that brought us to a yummy diner, where we ate, and talked and talked and talked. Chad joined us there after work and then the three of us went to Circuit City, where none of the PDAs have batteries but we entertained ourselves all the same. Mish gave us her Circuit City gift card, so Chad bought a Playstation 2 game and I bought a mini-light that plugs into a...
Read MoreNestcam
The cam was last on Friday, May 4.
Hello What
I am Halsted, a/k/a cygnoir, and I do stuff with words.
My favourite things to do with words are keeping this diary, writing stories, and organising information.
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Tenacious D
3 days, 14 hours and 30 minutes ago - To Be The Best
Tenacious D
3 days, 14 hours and 31 minutes ago - They Fucked Our Asses - Explicit Version
Tenacious D
3 days, 14 hours and 32 minutes ago
Plugging
