spring ahead

I wasn’t going to post anything, and then I was, and then I wasn’t again. And now I am. There’s not much for me to report. I’m writing quite a bit in my paper journal. Yesterday, my dad and I sat down with a stack of old photo albums and I saw myself as I was just-born, 1, 2, 3 years old and up to 11. That year, the year my parents split, the year so many times I wished had never happened, and yet in all those pictures I was so happy and smiling. Sucking it up, or blissfully ignorant? I waited for some baby drive to jump-start as I looked at all the pictures, all the people making such a fuss over bald, frowny baby-me. Nothing. Maybe I am indeed broken. I will let the parentals down, again. This is how this version goes. While it is...

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Posted on 29 Jan 2002 | Comments Off

the parenthetical reveal

At 5:30, the Kaiser Permanente building was in my rear-view mirror. I flipped it off cheerfully and sped away through downtown San Rafael and to Lily‘s neck of the woods. This was not without incident, of course; I spent 20 minutes getting lost in the nape of the neck of the woods, because every street there is named Something Vista Way or Something View Drive — and it’s not all that scenic. Someone had scene-envy, it seems. I did not remember to jot down the apartment number, just the address, so I called Chad, who went on a fact-finding mission at work. While he did so, I wandered around until I saw a number that jogged my memory. I rang the doorbell. It was the right number. Lily’s rats are really cool. I got to hold the larger, less...

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Posted on 25 Jan 2002 | Comments Off

ode to kaiser permanente

please to be killing the kaiser permanente, they who have no idea who i am after the fiftieth time i am calling, they who will not send me anti-baby medication even though i ask nicely, they who put me on hold, on hold, on hold, with the singing of the barry manilow, with the ringing of my now-asleep ear, propping up the phoning, and the anger ever growing, please to be killing the kaiser permanente.

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Posted on 24 Jan 2002 | Comments Off

metaharpal

It is nice, surprising even, to re-read the responses to my last entry. I think I expected nothing, in a good way, not that no one would read but that there wasn’t much to say in response. That’s another difference between me and many other people I know who write publicly: the expectation of response. Most of the time, I’m riffing here. I do know that some people read this regularly, and as I was about to write, “a flattering, fuzzy thought,” I realized that I might provide schadenfreude to those who don’t know me. O. That’s not a fuzzy thought, although it is somewhat flattering, in a backhanded way. Never-we-mind; the point was, I am aware of being read, but unaware of the level at which my readers would prefer to...

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Posted on 22 Jan 2002 | Comments Off

the familiarity of risk

I had originally called Mom to sing her a song; we used to sing duets in the car, and this one called “Tonight You Belong to Me” by Patience and Prudence. (You might have heard it sung by Steve Martin and Bernadette Peters in “The Jerk”.) I have infected Chad with this me-meme, and he transferred it back to me, and so I wanted to call my mom and sing it to her, complete this circle. The phone rang, and it was Lara, so we chatted for a while until Mom called back and I, in my infinite mobile phone wisdom, answered call-waiting by transferring Lara to my voicemail, then hanging up on both of them. Glorious. When I did have my mom on the phone, I was too nervous to sing to her. As I hung up the call, I regretted it. My yearning for Thai food...

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Posted on 21 Jan 2002 | Comments Off

missed missed connection

With a headline like: HAZELNUT LATTE, starbucks San Rafael, Sat, 1/12 how could it not be me? Well, it wasn’t. Not even the right gender. Damn.

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Posted on 20 Jan 2002 | Comments Off

die, paranoid scum

I’m sure someone lost their PalmPilot in the library because its alarm keeps going off. I can hear it but I can’t find it. If I weren’t already insane, I am going to be after a few more hours. Yet another brilliant scheme hatched by the Powers That Be to drive library paraprofessionals mad. (The “para” is for “paranoid”.) I get to see Emo Philips on Thursday! Better yet, I get to see Emo Philips with David! Here’s just some of the Emo brilliance: I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, “Stop! don’t do it!” “Why shouldn’t I?” he said. I said, “Well, there’s so much to live for!” He...

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Posted on 19 Jan 2002 | Comments Off

saturn ascends

In my best uncool-person-trying-to-be-street-voice, I announced to my mom that we would indeed be kicking it oldschool in just a few weeks. And what I meant was: I’ll be taking a train from Detroit, Michigan to Chicago, Illinois just like I did when I’d go visit my dad’s parents with my dad, and then return to my mom’s. Pulling into Union Station on a great big Amtrak train is one of my strongest memories from junior high and high school. I will go back home, to two homes, at the end of the month, and spend some time with my grandmother, whose health is failing, as well as both sets of parental units. This comes at a fortunate time, as I am feeling incredible amounts of pressure at work, and reaching a point at which I lose sight of why I...

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Posted on 15 Jan 2002 | Comments Off

it’s coming

[roboto] http://www.tron20.net/ [halsted] is that going to crash my computer? [halsted] did you just send me the internet? [roboto] no ... [roboto] tron 2.0, sted. [halsted] can you download the web onto my computer? [roboto] tron 2.0 [roboto] it's coming ... [roboto] TRON! [roboto] i didn't really crash you, did i? [halsted] DUDE [halsted] DUUUUUUUDE! [roboto] i know. [roboto] i know. [halsted] DUDE TOTALLY DUDE! [halsted] do not believe their lies DUDE! [roboto] see? i'm here to make you happy.

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Posted on 15 Jan 2002 | Comments Off

bookmania

This has gotten out of control. I have 28 books on my to-read list, and I was hoping to clear out this to-read list in 2002. That means I have to read roughly 1 book every 13 days this year, starting now. In case you’re wondering about this list of ridiculous proportions, it’s buried in my personal pages, unintentionally really, but that’s just how the design worked out. Why is this such a pressing issue now? Because for Christmas, my in-laws gave me a gift card to Waldenbooks. That’s how the list jumped from 23 to 28 just today. Pfeh! I finished one tonight, at least, Iain Banks’ latest called _Look to Windward_. I was slightly disappointed by the development of the story and flatness of some of the characters, but still surprised at...

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Posted on 12 Jan 2002 | Comments Off