and at the end
While I respect the idea of new year’s resolutions, my take on the year’s end is a little less internal. Instead of making rules for myself about my conduct and ideals, I’m going to address just a few people in my life who read this journal. You made this past year everything it was, and I want to thank you. Brina and David, for being my two pillars of support. I have had a rough year; in some ways, it was nearly as rough as 02002, and you were both there for me through that, too. I would not have made it intact without you. Light for being present, always. When I am darkened, I know I can always find your Light. Matt for your wisdom and humor. I am learning to just breathe, and that is because of your influence. Ergazork for listening to...
Read Morejust anyone
I don’t know if you realize this or not, but I don’t cut shallots into teeny tiny translucent slices with a ceramic knife, drive to and from Santa Rosa IN THE RAIN, or meet both sets of parental units for just anyone. Let alone all three within the space of two days. I have to say, meeting the parents was the least painful part of the process. It was actually — dare I say it — fun! The shallots, though. Those were a bitch. Good thing the truffled potatoes and celery root au gratin (none other than fontina for the gratin part) ruled. And we won’t even mention the driving. Even though the gifts I’ve ordered a certain person have been held hostage by the cruel, cruel USPS, he insisted I open his to me on Christmas Eve. So I...
Read Morejump
Everyone’s gone home except a few English language school students and me. Furiously checking email, the students point and click and type and frown and glance at the clock and glance at me and the seconds keep dwindling between Access and No Access Until 5 January. But the daylight waxes already again, and it’s the twenty-third, and so close to the new year I can see it sparkling through the slumbering trees. Twenty-three, that number always with me: a spectre, a will o’ the wisp, a touchstone, a black feather. Between what I see in my head and what I have in my hand is a small space. We can jump, you and I, if we only give each other a sly smile right before inhaleandlookandpresshandsdownonair . On the other side now; see you there. Current...
Read Morewithdrawal symptoms
Unsurprising, yes, that I am withdrawing, and so it goes. Again. Scott got me hooked on “24″ with the DVDs of the first season. Some of my fondest memories of spending time with him this past year involved curling up on the couch and watching five or six episodes straight. Then he sent me the second season on DVD not too long ago, and I finally broke them open the other night. Yesterday I watched eight episodes. I almost did not stop to eat. But I did. I had baked beans and watched another one. Saturday night, I bought tickets for “The Return of the King” on Fandango and drove into the city to pick up the MSG. We were supposed to see it on Wednesday night, but I was still recovering from the Evil Death Flu of Doom. When I hit...
Read More[meme] forty questions about 02003
Okay, I’m breaking my self-imposed LiveJournal silence, but only for a meme, which was ganked from Tommx. [some answers edited on 30 December 02003] 1. What did you do in 02003 that you’d never done before? Lived by myself. Went to Amsterdam, Brussels, and Hamburg with Scott. Threw up as a result of drinking too much at FunkyPlaid’s going-away party. Went to the movies by myself. Was featured on an open-mic night. Went on a blind date. Met They Might Be Giants. Drank a martini. 2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don’t remember if I even made them last year. I won’t make them for next year. 3. Did anyone close to you give birth? I hope not. That would be messy. 4. Did...
Read Morebe what you would seem to be
From Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll: “I quite agree with you,” said the Duchess; “and the moral of that is — ‘Be what you would seem to be’ — or if you’d like it put more simply — ‘Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.’” The time has come, the Halsted said, to talk of … not a thing. I will not be writing in this journal for the remainder of 02003. Have a wonderful December, folks. Current mood: Current music:
Read Moreswan not cat
and it is stupid to feel the way i feel but no feelings are stupid i heard once in therapy the time before the last time which was the first time unless we’re counting the time when i was in junior high and had to speak with a counselor about being assaulted but i’m not counting that time because i was terrified to say a thing to her i was mostly concentrating on the thick mole that grew from the corner of her mouth and how it wiggled when she looked at me with concerned big eyes but it is stupid we have established this so let’s leave it alone put it on pause for now there is so much stuff in my little room and no matter how much i straighten up throw things away reorganize it there is too much stuff and i wonder how easily i agreed to rent my...
Read MoreIRC still 0wnz
ed__ says, "unf unf unf" cygnoir unf unf unf ed__ says, "unf unf unf!" ed__ says, "we are having turn-based sex0rs" cygnoir lol ed__ says, "IT IS YOUR TURN" ed__ says, "YOU HAVE TO ROLL A 5 OR BETTER TO CUM" cygnoir falls over. cygnoir rolls a d4. DAMMIT! ed__ says, ": Current mood: Current music:
Read Moretomorrow the death
Having not been ice skating in a quarter-century, I figured it was about damned time. Also, I have never had stitches and it’s on my “forty things to do before I’m forty” list. So tomorrow night, I have agreed to participate in an ice-skating double-date. Duties have been assigned as follows: + Halsted: Twisting, spraining, and/or breaking some part of my body. Anything, really. I’m taking this one for the team! + Halsted’s date, the MSG: Hot toddy patrol and subsequent monitoring. If we are too hot-toddied to walk to the rink, chances are we’re too hot-toddied to strap thin metal blades to our feet and perambulate across frozen water. + Brina: Distracting us all...
Read Morebut silk is worm until it’s spun
maybe sometime i can stop listening to whatever it is the whatever it is that i am listening to the songs that wreck me totally inside and out make me feel hollowed-out eggshell waiting to be blown away with any breath i do not remember being normal i do not remember being born and i do not remember being in first grade but i remember you o yes i do dreams last night and i knew that he bought that table after we split i knew he bought it but then i saw it and it made me wonder why he bought a photo-processing table and when i looked out the window and saw the pond with fat splotched koi in it i exclaimed and he held me and i didn’t know what to do o how i never know what to do and i do it too my horoscope is staring at me again and i really should...
Read MoreNestcam
The cam was last on Friday, May 4.
Hello What
I am Halsted, a/k/a cygnoir, and I do stuff with words.
My favourite things to do with words are keeping this diary, writing stories, and organising information.
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Tenacious D
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