vow of silence

“It often shows an excellent command of language to say nothing.” – Karol Newlin

if in the words i have chosen
i have offended
it is because i do not know how to unsay them

if in the words i have withheld
i have broken
what cannot be repaired is my silence

my cells are still the same cells and my blood
beats the same as it ever has but
how things have changed between us

and how when i know you can i not know what to say
can i be at such a loss
my tongue and teeth a bridge between what you want
and what i need

as a child i made a promise
i pretended to sew up my lips with invisible thread
i pretended to lock up my lips with an unseen key
but there is no more needle and no more lock
and the promise forgotten left unsaid

if you believe in my breath
a rush of wind through trees
a slow tide creeping to shore
you would understand that my silence
is no weapon

it is the wound left behind

— Halsted M. Bernard

About Halsted M. Bernard

Halsted, a/k/a cygnoir, does stuff with words. Her favourite things to do with words are keeping this diary, writing stories, and organising information. She lives in Edinburgh with her husband, two cats, a few gadgets, several fountain pens, and many books.

Posted on 10 Nov 2003 in Writing