can you hold this thing
I’m home, packing for Seattle (tomorrow, yay!) and catching up on email and Zen-scritches. Last night’s dinner at Ti Couz with Brina, David and the MSG was nice, even though I managed to forget to buy cider bowls for Lunesse YET AGAIN. (I’m so sorry, Luny. I will make a special trip just for that, and soon.) Brina and David bought me Demeter Fragrances for my birthday! Now I have Cosmopolitan and Laundromat to add to my ever-growing collection of Atypical Perfume, which contains Fireplace, Graham Cracker, and Creme Brulee, among others. Back at the MSG’s, he and I opened the bottle of wine that Hawk got me for my birthday, put on the new Air album, and had a long talk about things that have been bothering me lately, mainly with how I...
Read Moreout of
feeling sick to my stomach in knots and uncertainty throws itself into me but i still catch it so it’s my fault isn’t it for opening arms as if by reflex like when someone tosses you something you don’t want you still open your arms and you still catch is this what being in love is like to love the beauty of something so much you are afraid for it to disappear is this what i was supposed to be feeling and is this the truth inside the eggshell that i never wanted to crack on my finger is a new ring with two stones purplyblue and the placard reads “helps with being present and with the assuaging of worry” and please let me be here right now because i hate throwing myself back at uncertainty and clawing at its little jeweled throat with...
Read Moresuckblather
Lo, this day hath sucketh mightily. Yea, verily, forsooth. I liked folks’ answers to my Zobmondo question, though. I think I would prefer the crush, but like Ergazork, my default is a sigoth who is also my best friend. Although “best” and “friend” together make me a little annoyed; I don’t like to rank people in my life like that. Speaking of sigoths and best friends, tonight I spent an hour and a half on the phone with the MSG, who is both a good listener and a good advisor. We talked about my work situation and ways for me to manage it so it doesn’t chew up my sanity and my passion. He says once I’ve decided to do something, it makes the doing of it easy, or at least easier. Maybe I believe that. I want to...
Read Moreinsomniacceptable
Acceptable: Getting to bed at 23:15. Unacceptable: Waking up at 03:15. Acceptable: Having that ridiculous “Fuck the Pain Away” song stuck in my head. Unacceptable: Singing it, however quietly, at the workplace. Especially getting caught on the word “titties”. By a student. Acceptable: Getting caught in a freak hailstorm. With thunder and lightning and everything! Unacceptable: Somehow, even with glasses on, getting a hail shard in the eye. Acceptable: Watching one very cute cat snore while laying on her back. Unacceptable: Dive-bombing her exposed belly. With my face. The scars will heal someday. I hope. Acceptable: Going back to bed right now instead of doing anything else to my website. Unacceptable: Having to wake up at 06:15. ...
Read Morebeam me up, ‘brary
Occasionally, my job rules. The director of collections and cataloging just walked into my office and presented me with two books that are in our library: _Star Trek and Sacred Ground: Explorations of Star Trek, Religion, and American Culture_ and _Deep Space and Sacred Time: Star Trek in the American Mythos_ rawk, I say. Current mood: Current music:
Read Moreembarking on thirty-one
Just a few days until Seattle, where I will perform the wedding ceremony of Josh and September, and then tool around the city with Jon. How I love performing wedding ceremonies, and how I love Seattle! I am as excited as a really exhausted yet excited Halsted can be. Exhausted indeed. My dad and stepmom’s visit went splendidly, but it took a lot out of me. We ate extremely well and did a lot of walking and then there’s the whole emotional stress aspect we need not get into right now. Needless to say, they adore the MSG, just like I knew they would, and he liked them, just like I knew he would. His presence throughout made things much easier on me, and his help was the best birthday gift I could have expected. Other than the ’87 Mondavi...
Read Morelion’s pause
I have to do this more quickly than I’d like to, because my dad and stepmom have just hit town and I’ll be absorbed in familial visiting for the next few days. My birthday party last Friday night was a smashing success. Unfortunately, I did not get out of work on time due to … well, work being work. I rushed into the City and arrived a half-hour late. To my surprise, many folks were already there, and I was so happy to see everyone. The MSG did a fantastic job of managing the little details so I didn’t have to worry about a thing and could just relax and enjoy the company of my friends. It was much louder in Solstice than either the MSG or I had anticipated, so there was no way to play Zobmondo there. There was, however, something I...
Read Moretheme song for this year … or this life
This is for me and for you too. Thanks, Matt. You’ve Got to Learn to Live with What You Are (Ben Folds) I know that you’re in there … I can see you You’re saying you’re okay … I don’t believe you And now that gig is up, the spell is broken The fat lady’s sung, the president has spoken These days that you were waiting for will come and go Like any day, just another day There’s never going to be a moment of truth for you while the world is watching All you need is the thing you’ve forgotten And that’s to learn to live with what you are So freak out if you wanna … and I’ll still be here Don’t call me for years and when you do … yeah, I’ll still be here And I’m not...
Read Morespampoem: go|two|days
Perhaps it’s just me getting such a huge kick of spammers delivering poetry ideas to my inbox. Here’s an E.E. Cummings one. I changed only one letter. three bills a PILlow price souper vighagra go|two|days|nonstop|LAD|IES|LO|VE|IT
Read Morethe planner: b-day poem for 31
It is going to take me a while to write up the full summary of my wonderful three-day weekend, so in the interim I’d like to post the poem I wrote and recited at my birthday party. Thank you to everyone at my party who let me drag them outside to the streetcorner so I could read it in slightly quieter surroundings, and thank you to FunkyPlaid for helping me come up with apt castle parts. The Planner My first day planner was thick with printed pages, slick fake leather in my grip, the perfect size. The perfect accompaniment to my sense of rightness, to my sense of good sense, putting each thing in its place in careful block lettering. Page by page, I constructed what was to be a fortress of order, surrounded by a moat of black ink, a drawbridge of a flap...
Read MoreNestcam
The cam was last on Friday, May 4.
Hello What
I am Halsted, a/k/a cygnoir, and I do stuff with words.
My favourite things to do with words are keeping this diary, writing stories, and organising information.
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Reading
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- 39 - Explicit Version
Tenacious D
3 days, 15 hours and 37 minutes ago - To Be The Best
Tenacious D
3 days, 15 hours and 38 minutes ago - They Fucked Our Asses - Explicit Version
Tenacious D
3 days, 15 hours and 39 minutes ago
Plugging
