this is not a test

Did you know that every year fire kills more Americans than all natural disasters combined?

So why were there four “dead” patrons in our library fire drill today? They just couldn’t be bothered to evacuate, instead choosing to ignore the scream of the alarm in favor of one … last … email.

If you are lucky enough to have advanced warning of a fire, you have precious few moments to get yourself to safety before you die. Remember what death is? It’s like logging off, only forever. And if you think fire drills are a joke, then you tell me: do you have an evacuation plan for your home? Do you know where the emergency exits are where you work?

This is not a test; this is your real life.

And when someone is putting her own real life at risk in an attempt to help you survive, shut up and get your ass out of the building. If only so you might live to email another day.

About Halsted M. Bernard

Halsted, a/k/a cygnoir, does stuff with words. Her favourite things to do with words are keeping this diary, writing stories, and organising information. She lives in Edinburgh with her husband, two cats, a few gadgets, several fountain pens, and many books.

Posted on 27 Apr 2004 in Diary
  • anna banana

    when i was in college there was a fire drill while i was in the shower. i got out, wrapped in a towel, and walked to the quad (where we were supposed to go), with conditioner in my hair and soap other places… then was told “oh, you were in the shower? you didn’t have to leave for the drill…” it was weird. i had to wait about 20 minutes before i could go back in, but by then some nice people had brought me more towels to wrap up in since i was freezing. i just always thought it was weird how they said i didn’t have to pay attention to the drill since i was in the shower.

  • http://techstep.livejournal.com Rob J.

    A few years ago at CMU, there was a propane tank explosion on top of Wean Hall. On the fifth floor (of nine), I was in a computer lab and the alarms were insanely hard to hear, even though they were going off just outside the door. It wasn’t until people came by that some of us decided to leave, and even then the fact that there was a pretty sizable fire outside the building (albeit a reinforced concrete structure) didn’t convince many people that they should stop writing emails or coding and leave.

  • tyee

    I about fell off my chair laughing at:
    Remember what death is? It’s like logging off, only forever.

    I hope that if this ever comes down to a real fire, you don’t have to stand between your patrons and natural selection, because I would become quite surly if anything were to happen to you.

  • http://www.jimhodgson.com jim hodgson

    You know, you and I fell in love when we both lived in Birmingham. I was working at your ISP and we met for a bite to eat at the Purple Onion, but you loved someone else and planned to marry them soon, so we stopped talking pretty much. Then you turned up in my comments about ten years later.

    I would say all this in an email, but I can’t really find one for you.

    Anyway, hi.

  • Tallbob

    Hmmm, Jim, read her “about” page very closely. I think it’s the 3rd bullet down.