not sew good

It is important to try new things. That said, I am a horrible seamstress, and dreading going back to curtain-sewing class next week. I paid attention and still nothing made sense, especially the pattern, which requires some spatial reasoning to comprehend. I am spectacularly lacking in that department. It took me longer than everyone else — even the two friends who were goofing off — to wind the bobbin and longer to actually stitch anything. Let’s not even discuss turning corners. All of my corners look like lumps of evil. Even the woman with so many diamonds on her left ring finger that surely, surely it must have been weighted down if not completely immobilized by that much weight was faster than me. The instructor is very nice, but...

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Posted on 20 Jan 2005 | 4 comments

sharing the love

I like this “Sharing the Love” meme I ganked from Amanita.net: Reply to this post if you want me to tell you how cool you are. Watch my journal over the next few days for a post just about you and why I think you rock my socks. Post these instructions in your journal and give your friends a much needed dose of love and adoration! Obviously, this only works if I know you, but perhaps this is a good time for lurkers to introduce themselves. Also, if you are reading this via LiveJournal syndication, remember that I am not notified of LiveJournal comments so please comment on my site instead. Thanks.

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Posted on 20 Jan 2005 | 6 comments

middle

Last night I slept in the middle of the bed. When for years you reinforce a physical situation — that situation first mental, then emotional, third physical — your body becomes one betrayal after another. It molds like clay and erodes like granite. He liked the left side, so I learned to like the right, even though before that I had no preference. I figured out quickly that living with someone, sharing an intimate space, meant small discoveries every day about willingness and stubbornness. After it was all over, I would still sleep on the right side, prefer the right side, at home and away; in hotels; with lovers; alone. My bed is not a “real” bed, even so; it is a futon, and its middle is awfully uncomfortable because of its...

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Posted on 19 Jan 2005 | 1 comment

no follow

Movable Type users, especially those of us suffering from ridiculous amounts of weblog spam, need to know about the ‘nofollow’ plugin. In other news, 75% of my recent referrals have come from Google searches on “numa numa”. This amuses me to no end. Back to being insulted and shushed by students!

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Posted on 19 Jan 2005 | Comments Off

a hole

Don’t take my word for it, she said, but I did. I took her word for it and I’ll take yours, too. I am a thief of articles, of discovery, of vertical blinds and blindfolds and blond files. If you can’t beat them, join them, she said, so I glued them together. Now you can’t tell where they end and they begin. So they say; so I win. There are no open doors, merely wall-shaped holes. And you, my dear, are a hole. But that’s a whole other story.

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Posted on 18 Jan 2005 | 2 comments

run

She met him while jogging at the beach. “Met” was a small word to use for it; in her memories, that day would always be four or five syllables, not just one bitter bite. He was at the beach first — she did not know how long and never will — and she walked up to him. Her feet kept moving as she stood in place. He looked up at her like looking into the sun: face to her but eyes to the sea. “What are you doing?” she asked, skipping a glance from his hands and what they grasped to his hair, long and dark and gnarled, like dead seaweed. “Sifting,” he replied, and held up the flash of metal, which when she focused on looked like a medieval torture device, so she just quirked her brow and kept staring. He continued,...

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Posted on 17 Jan 2005 | 1 comment

and scene

Make that FOUR poems. I have never been so rejected in a week. I lunched with my three circ dudes today, which made me feel a bit better. And I slept seven hours straight last night. And Chad dropped off one of our old halogen lamps, so now I will have light in my room without the loud buzzing noise! So it has been a pretty good Last Day of The Library Without Students O God Do They Really Have To Come Back Already. Speaking of students, I’m not continuing with graduate school here. I didn’t hate it but I didn’t love it, either, and I won’t sacrifice my writing time for something that I don’t love. Hell, I won’t even sacrifice my writing time for the MSG, and you might say I’m somewhat fond of him. I earned a very...

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Posted on 14 Jan 2005 | 9 comments

blue thursday

The blues have arrived, along with the chills and the headaches and the wide-awakes. It might be time for 5-HTP again, although I generally avoid messing with my body’s chemicals. I just don’t know what to do. Instead of irritated, I am simply morose. And tired, so very tired. If I could just get to the gym, I think I’d be able to cure the insomnia. Someone at work told me about meeting a writer whose work I enjoy, how she was horrid and vain and dismissive in person. That made me a little sad to hear, but just furthered my resolve to make it into Squaw Valley Writers this year and meet her for myself. Three of my poems have been rejected just since Monday, which makes me so stubborn and antsy. Everything under my skin is...

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Posted on 13 Jan 2005 | 2 comments

the last whatever

I found this list of lasts in an entry three years ago today. Feel free to play along! Last alarm set for: 07:30. Four hours of sleep, yay. Last gadget fiddled with: my Sidekick 2. Last music listened to: all of my TMBG on shuffle. Last irrational fear: that I will never be significantly published. Last procrastination: cleaning my office. Last beverage consumed: tepid bottled water. Last junk mail received: yet another Pottery Barn catalog. Last out-of-touch friend thought of: Adam. I am so glad he’s back in Chicago, even if I’m not there. Last picture viewed: a bumper sticker that read Jesus Saves … and only takes half damage. Last number called: my mom’s office. Last strange hope: that I could open a tiny rift in time to crawl inside...

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Posted on 10 Jan 2005 | 2 comments

processing

I meant to get so much done over the weekend, but most of it was spent, as usual, on EverQuest2. The MSG and I saw “A Very Long Engagement” yesterday, which was stunning and lush and just what you’d expect from Jean-Pierre Jeunet, only darker and more layered and all-around better than “Amelie”. I highly recommend it. Another recommendation is “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy”, which we rented Saturday night after SEVEN COURSES OF BEEF at a Vietnamese place in the Tenderloin. That’s right, I said SEVEN COURSES OF BEEF. And laughing oneself silly after SEVEN COURSES OF BEEF can sometimes end in disaster, but it didn’t. Last night, we met our friend Hawk for dinner at Little Star Pizza, which is a new...

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Posted on 10 Jan 2005 | 3 comments