serenity

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.” — Reinhold Niebuhr

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Posted on 8 Feb 2005 | 4 comments

rags

i twist my hands around these rags these green rags with the warp of insecurity and the weft of abandonment worn with tears and bile and curses when i think i have torn them apart torn them past repair i make thread from my nightmare webs and sew them back up with my eyes closed you say let go let go of them and hold on to me

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Posted on 7 Feb 2005 | 1 comment

librariandecision

I don’t know what I want to do with my life. Thursday didn’t help. Rather, I know exactly what I want to do with my life — I want to be a published writer — but have to do something else to pay the bills, which has been library work for nearly a decade now. There doesn’t seem to be a way upwards without an MLIS, which takes time away from writing, and money I don’t have. If I were passionate about being a librarian, the path would be clear. I’m not, and becoming less enamored with the idea daily. I don’t want to teach and I don’t want to sit at a reference desk and I certainly don’t want to develop a collection. If only I could be paid to run the computery bits, wrangling the OPAC, beautifying and...

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Posted on 4 Feb 2005 | 10 comments

challenge accepted

I must say, choosing this month’s challenge was much more difficult than I thought it was going to be, because your suggestions seriously rocked my socks. From the hilarious (tyee’s expired food products) to the overwhelming (fivecats’ NOW challenge) to the just plain scary (monkeymind’s improv comedy workshop), I had a wealth of suggestions to choose from. I would really love to pick up a musical instrument, but counted that out since I’ve taken both piano and drum lessons in the past, plus I don’t have an isolated place in which I can practice without disturbing anyone. (Believe me, cirocco and fallingman, Inkbot thanks you, even if she doesn’t know it yet.) Indoor gardening is another wonderful idea, but Zen eats and...

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Posted on 2 Feb 2005 | 9 comments

wandering

After work, I went to a deserted parking lot and sat there for a while. Sort of fell asleep, but mostly just sat, trying to sort out my thoughts. Then I ferried home, and stopped off at my horrible little restaurant. Seems I am a regular there now, both food-wise and drink-wise. I ordered my usual drink and different food. Then I wrote five pages in my journal in blue-black ink and looked at the bamboo forest wallpaper. Now I am going to do a load of laundry and go to bed to think of which challenge I should pick for this month. I am feeling sort of confused about the world, and a little sad about nothing at all.

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Posted on 1 Feb 2005 | 3 comments

meme supreme

It is somewhat humbling that, after nearly seven years of baring my soul to the schadenfreude-loving public, what launched me into intarweb stardom was the immortal phrase “numa numa” as uttered by the Romanian-Moldavian boy-band O-Zone. My entry is ranked #7 in a Google search for “numa numa”. Page hits increased to 8,000 this month from previous all-time high of 3,500. Journaling is dead. Long live the meme.

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Posted on 1 Feb 2005 | 2 comments

sidekick 2 woes

I’m seriously considering going back to my Nokia 3595. To borrow a phrase from this thread in the Hiptop.com forums, my Sidekick 2 has been nothing but a “backlit doorstop” since the upgrade over the weekend. It refuses to login to AIM, citing: “Signing On Too Frequently: There is a limit to how many times in a short period you can sign on with the same screen name. You have been signing on too frequently. Please try again later.” Meredith is having the same problem, unfortunately. What an upgrade. Before the AIM silliness, my Sidekick 2 wouldn’t even ring on at approximately 50% of my calls and half that time wouldn’t even record voicemail, let alone notify me of new voicemail or SMS messages. I know part of this is...

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Posted on 1 Feb 2005 | 5 comments