learning my lesson

learning my lesson

This is just one of my few favorite photos from Friday’s excursion to the Conservatory of Flowers. I learned a very important lesson on Friday. Thursday night, when I went to bed, I decided that Friday would be a terrific day, the best day of my life yet. It was. Good lesson, yes? It was so easy to understand once I got it; it’s proving more difficult to put into practice, but I persist. I am still searching for the exact quote that the MSG gave me on Friday night that touched me so deeply, but I found this one, by Kahlil Gibran: “Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.” Another lesson I...

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Posted on 14 Mar 2005 | 4 comments

in which I am decidedly not moping

Just a few more moments of the morning off left, and I am happy to say I not only slept in but wrote a bit, too, more of the short story from the male perspective that’s been giving me so much trouble. I am charging my camera battery because Ergazork and I are about to head out for lunch in my ‘hood and then flower-appreciating in Golden Gate Park. It’s already 75 degrees, with a high of 80 expected today; I think it’s time for the summer skirt and the big floppy straw hat! Something inside me is wriggling around again. I finally finished reading Penelope Williamson’s “Mortal Sins”, a book that had been left behind at the library, which was every inch as dreadful as I expected. It’s a thriller set in late...

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Posted on 11 Mar 2005 | 3 comments

ten things

There are a lot of “ten things about me” memes going around these days, and I want to play, too. So here are ten things about me you could have probably guessed: I always try to smash gnats by clapping them. It is a very satisfying game to me. But I always feel bad when I actually smash one. I did everything later than I was “supposed to”: crawl, teethe, talk, stand, swim, ride a bike, blow bubbles in chewing gum, whistle, drink alcohol, lose my virginity … etcetera. The only thing I did early, I did very early: learn to read. Now I love to teach others to read. I was fairly healthy until my mid-twenties, when I developed both insomnia and migraines. I have undergone many tests to determine the cause and treatment of each; so...

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Posted on 10 Mar 2005 | 6 comments

my joy delirious

My migraine — who has taken on a full-fledged persona named Captain Spectacular (a/k/a Cappy) — returned for a visit yesterday morning. He’s just now walking out the door. Cappy seems to enjoy his visits every six weeks; I can’t say as I appreciate them as much, especially now that I’ve run out of Cappy-B-Gone medicine. A refill requires another full examination, prodding and poking and bloodletting and maybe even that Tube of Doom they call the MRI machine. Last time I went in it, I brought a stuffed animal to squeeze onto and Chad held my foot so I wouldn’t freak out. It was especially nice of him since we had already broken up, or were in the process of breaking up, I’m not sure … it was all so confusing at...

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Posted on 10 Mar 2005 | 1 comment

blue skies and paper swans

blue skies and paper swans

Well, haven’t I just been Ms. Whiny McCrankypants lately? That’s a shame, since there are such good things happening in my life. I really must learn to get over myself. The weather this week has been absolutely stunning: nothing but blue skies and balmy temperatures. Spring is sproinging! I only had one day off last weekend, but I get this Friday off, and I intend to wring every last moment of goodness out of it. My dad and stepmom arrive in just over a week for a visit. I can’t wait to see them! Last Saturday, my dear MSG hosted a dinner party for a few of my friends. It was a ravishing success. The menu, all created or acquired by him: crostini with classic raw tomato/basil/garlic dipping sauce tuscan white bean puree “yellow...

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Posted on 8 Mar 2005 | 3 comments

an expensive doorstop

My Sidekick 2 has had no data service for the past three days, and this just a month after the last big network outage. On top of that, my voicemail indicator — the one that was already flaky — persists despite having no new messages. Before you ask: yes, I’ve done many, many soft resets. Nothing has worked. I truly regret purchasing this gadget last autumn. It worked well for a few months, but now I’m paying $20 a month to be a beta tester, and I resent that. It would be slightly more tolerable if I hadn’t been told outright by T-Mobile representatives that they were about to release software to sync the SK2 with a Mac. (Despite a mention of it still showing up on their website, it’s vaporware.) I don’t know whether...

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Posted on 7 Mar 2005 | 4 comments

you owe me

you owe me

The Interpol album “Antics” has finally grown on me. I hated it at first; it seemed way too whiny and one-thump for my tastes. Now I get it. It just took a while. The MSG and I made it exactly 39 minutes and 41 seconds through “Swimming Pool” last night before turning it off in favor of EverQuest II. Not even Ludivine Sagnier’s breasts could hold our attention. But it was nice to meet them so thoroughly. I shouldn’t be surprised by strangers online who importune with ridiculous requests merely because I have a (webcam|journal|homepage). Yet I am, and I really wonder about the mindset of expecting pieces of other people in exchange for nothing but an assertion of preference. “I like fingernails. You should cut off...

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Posted on 5 Mar 2005 | 8 comments

conduit

Two international students are circulating a survey about gender roles in the family. I’m totally cracking up, even though I shouldn’t be, because when they ask for people to elaborate on their opinions, they just say timidly, “Opinion?” A student asked for help unjamming the printer today and he stood so close to me that I had to say “excuse me” in hopes he’d move away. He didn’t. His arm (through his sweatshirt) brushed my arm (through my sweater) and I got all wigged out. Yes, this is a form of claustrophobia, or a new phobia I don’t know yet. I was thinking about a new way of journaling here: leave myself a voicemail message about a subject for a new entry, which later I will replay and transcribe into...

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Posted on 4 Mar 2005 | 3 comments

things i like about today

I slept nearly ten hours, almost straight, last night. Unfortunately, I had to take a tranquilizer for this to happen, which can’t be a regular occurrence, but it was so nice. I finally bought a new Lamy Vista fountain pen, to replace the one I bought in Amsterdam that not a month later someone at work borrowed, sat on, and crushed into a hundred shards of clear plastic. I am wearing the suit I bought in Amsterdam, black cotton moleskin, now that it’s been hemmed and darted and whatnot. It’s so comfy. My Fluevog boots are finally broken in! They are extremely nice to walk in now, even though they barely have a heel so I am readjusting to really being this short. I am almost half-way through a six-day workweek! Nothing major has gone wrong at...

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Posted on 2 Mar 2005 | 3 comments