the time of day

“Halsted, someone is collapsed in the women’s restroom downstairs,” is a sentence I never wanted to hear my coworker say. But this afternoon she appeared in my office doorway, voice high and trembling, and said just that. I called 911 and then ran downstairs. Coming out from under the door of the first stall were arms, a black leather jacket, delicate pink hands with clean fingernails. “Ma’am? Can you hear me?” I crouched low but saw no movement. “Is she breathing?” my coworker asked. I couldn’t tell. “Ma’am? My name is Halsted and I work here in the library. Can you tell me your name?” Nothing. No movement. One of her hands was curled oddly in on itself and the word stroke ran through...

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Posted on 7 Apr 2005 | 9 comments

learning to fall

K nudged me after our second coworker received his service award. “Are you leaving soon?” he whispered. “Yeah,” I replied, checking my watch. “I have to catch the last ferry.” “I’ll sneak out with you.” “‘Kay. After the next introduction, during the applause.” We waited, then discreetly made our exit, slipping behind the tall grey screen that separated the cavernous dining hall 70/30 so that students could finish their meals while our dinner was just getting started. The back door was open. A few members of the catering staff sat at an empty table. One flashed us a peace sign. As we ducked out the back door and into the quiet night, I realized that the stone patio, dotted...

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Posted on 5 Apr 2005 | 5 comments

function

function

Today’s oddity: during my eye exam, my doctor discovered that my astigmatism has significantly improved. Now that’s bizarre, but I’ll take it! My new contact lenses arrive in a week. I have to clean my desk. It’s just ridiculous. Now I’m off to a work function. I like calling it a “work function” instead of a “service awards dinner”. Three folks from the library are receiving awards! I am receiving food and drink.

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Posted on 5 Apr 2005 | 2 comments

defensiveness and mutability

Today’s super happy fun therapy summary follows. Comments are disabled. Defensiveness is the way I deal with any sort of non-compliment. I am using “non-compliment” instead of “criticism” because the latter implies intention on the part of the speaker to criticize, which isn’t always there. In fact, one might say it is usually absent. After years of not responding at all to non-compliments — merely internalizing them as criticism that was 100% true regardless of what I thought, and consequently hating myself as a result — I picked up this very bad pattern of attempting to prove to everyone around me that my way is valid. Then you won’t have anything to criticize! Or I’ll just criticize it first; you...

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Posted on 4 Apr 2005 | Comments Off

sunshine flowers

sunshine flowers

These happy flowers were blooming in the sunshine outside of the ferry terminal in Larkspur on Friday morning. “sunshine flowers” by cygnoir I’m using 1001 and ecto to post this, a fantastic combination indeed for Flickr bloggers everywhere. There isn’t much for me to write at the moment. I started watching “Epidemic” with the MSG, but he got too tired and had to go to sleep. Part of me wants to go to bed now, too, but I also want to read more of Running with Scissors: A Memoir. I’m kind of bummed out that I missed participating in the group moblog project this time around, but there will be another. April Fool’s Day left me a little cold this year. It seemed like most of the pranks were either too...

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Posted on 2 Apr 2005 | 2 comments