where to return

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the geeks and the goth

the geeks and the goth,
originally uploaded by cygnoir.

I am settling into being mediocre, between genres, unfinished, and not a genius. In a way, I am reassured by this, because it means I no longer have to write the best first novel ever, and poems can just be poems.

This reassurance can turn so easily into dissatisfaction. We weren’t supposed to live this long with dissatisfaction; we get bored; we start wars or break hearts. We wander off. We forget where to return.

Across the street, someone tosses a tennis ball twenty feet into the air. I watch it rise and fall without knowing who is throwing it or when it will stop appearing. Arms get tired, distracted. One green sign for me, up up and slower, then returning so fast. One green sign for me, for now.

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Posted on 6 May 2007 in Diary
  • http://blog.zesticle.com zesty

    I’ve pretty much managed to convince myself that mediocrity from myself is better than top-of-the-line work from Joe or Jane Average. I’m not sure I actually have enough self-esteeem to completely believe that or if I’m just deluding myself, but it’s been working pretty well for me so far.

  • http://blogtopicz.com Zenny

    Good for you! The world needs a never ending supply of the mundane. Preferably in the Great Unwashed Masses Category. For if there were no number 1′s there could never be the vast river of also-rans, where we, the sub-pars of Life, can frolic and play! Lindsey Lohan be damned, we are all committed to statistical normality in some fashion or other. Tennis anyone?

  • http://www.thoughtsparks.net Phil

    Where to return? what a great question. I’ve found myself wandering out beyond the known as of late. Do I hold steady with the mundane, financially secure or move out to new ventures. Solid work, yes that is given. May not be brilliant, but solid. Do I dare risk and risk those who come with me to new territory or remain in the mundane? Or will playing it safe result in the dissatisfaction that generates it’s own turbulent ripples?