sick feels me

I awoke to the shaky, bad-gut feeling of my days with gluten: each stretch of intestine its own serpent, stick-poked and salivating and wanting out.   Slamming behind my left eyesocket was the quickened tattoo of my blood: dah-duh-tump, dah-duh-tump.  “I feel sick” doesn’t cover it on these days, that tepid stain of a phrase.  Sick feels me, pinches my larynx, bends back my elbows, kicks my shins.  Sick is the subject and I its weakened, palpated object.

This is why I must remain humble: just when I think I have beaten it, fooled it, run around the block on it and sneaked into its end-zone, I do the classic horror-film turn and it is closer than ever, my cute little ailment, my snack of a disease.  I scream; it gapes its maw.  I stumble backwards to flee; it prowls forward in no hurry.

Names have power, but this one is a mouthful of chalk.  I found it and called it what I thought it was and hit it with a sword turned to foam. Today is one long Möbius twist of the guts.

About Halsted M. Bernard

Halsted, a/k/a cygnoir, does stuff with words. Her favourite things to do with words are keeping this diary, writing stories, and organising information. She lives in Edinburgh with her husband, two cats, a few gadgets, several fountain pens, and many books.

Posted on 26 Jun 2008 in Diary
  • http://resilient.livejournal.com Michelle

    *hug* Hang in there, Halsted. Try to focus on it lasting only a short time before these symptoms go away.

    Whenever I accidentally get dosed with gluten I find some intestinal relief in drinking the following fresh juice:

    1 carrot
    2 sticks celery
    2 cabbage leaves or 2 dandelion leaves
    1 1/2 inch slice beet root
    1 apple or 1 pear
    1 spinach leaf

    Optional:

    2 fresh apricots OR
    1/2 cup chopped fennel OR
    1/2 papaya OR
    1/2 cup blueberries OR
    1/2 to 1 clove garlic and/or 1/2 red onion

    If the taste is too strong, the following bowel healing warm herbal teas can be used to dilute the juice: marshmallow, goldenseal, dandelion root, chamomile and/or cinnamon.

    Drink 1/2 to 1 cup of the diluted juice every few hours.

    Bach Flower remedies also help me deal with the emotional fallout from gluten. Think about how you feel emotionally when you are glutened and find the bottle(s) that describe that. Take one or two drops per type under your tongue and hold in the mouth for 30 seconds before swallowing.

  • http://www.geeseaplenty.com/ Greg

    I’m sorry for the sentiment but I do like your writing.

  • Darkside

    *hugs you and offers you some energy*

    Long time eh? *smiles*