on real jobs
Right before closing yesterday, I helped a patron and the series of answers we found had led to a pretty interesting discussion on race and socio-economics in San Francisco. I mentioned that this topic was particularly interesting to me because my father is a sociology professor, but I didn’t think that the patron even heard me because he was pretty far deep into his own rant.
A few minutes later, he suddenly busts out with, “So why didn’t you decide to get a real job like your father? Too hard?”
It was so blatant that I thought it was a joke, so I laughed. My laughing slowly tapered off as I realized that he was completely serious. We stared at each other for a few moments, because I truly had no idea what to say that wouldn’t cost me my job.
Before yesterday, no one had ever called librarianship unimportant to my face. Sure, I’ve overheard people making fun of librarians, and I’ve read plenty of SF hipster criticism on the Main, but in the twelve years since I’ve first held a library job, no one has ever told me that it wasn’t real.
He went on to assert that he understood that women weren’t up to challenging occupations like men were, so he understood why I hadn’t followed my father’s footsteps, or “become a lawyer or a social worker, something that makes a difference”. He filled in his own sexist blanks for me, and left.
What galls me about the whole situation is that this patron is a regular who often takes up my time on the reference desks to ask me questions that I then duly research for him without complaint or editorializing. Even when he, on occasion, veers off into his political diatribes, I try to listen and sort out his questions from pure vitriol. In my six months at the Main, I have helped him at least twenty times.
And yet what I do isn’t real, isn’t important, isn’t making a difference?
I can’t even bring myself to address the sexism angle here. This coming from a San Franciscan who touts himself as “educated and refined” in the year 2008: “Women tend to avoid difficult careers because they just aren’t as good at handling confrontation and aggression as men are.”
Plenty of people think that librarians sit around and read books all day. If you are reading this, you probably know that that stereotype is complete fiction, no pun intended. You also probably know that I deal with confrontation and aggression every single day I am at work, and no, I don’t mean in meetings. You may not know that I do this because I love it, because I believe in it, and because I am fighting for a part of our culture that is sagging under the weight of apathy. Anyone who doesn’t think that is a real job is plain wrong.
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Comments
Holy crap I’m angry for you. This patron sounds like he’s visited menarebetterthanwomen.com a few too many times. He might actually believe in the crap Dick Masterson spews.
As enlightened as we like to think we are these days, it’s eye-opening moments like you had that wake us up to the fact that problems with racism and sexism still exist and are going strong to this day.
It burns me up.
Ighnot
Posted by: Ighnot | August 23rd, 2008 14:58
The next time he asks for your help, I’d look him dead in the eye and say “Since you have to ask a mere female like me for help, that must make you really stupid.”
Posted by: David | August 23rd, 2008 18:39
That person sounds like a complete idiot, wow. Just, wow.
Posted by: pixie | August 23rd, 2008 18:47
Well, this is why you have us - you can vent about the idiots and not lose your job.
Posted by: Jef Poskanzer | August 23rd, 2008 21:05
Yes, he was wrong. Fortunately, it isn’t your problem to make him right, so sit back and enjoy the entertainment. The “isn’t making a difference” part must mean when you are helping him. You know you are doing the job correctly, so his opinion about this is worthless.
Posted by: thedonofpages | August 24th, 2008 16:10
i never had the same in-my-face confrontation while being an elementary school librarian, but the question loomed just beyond the surface. after all, what was i, a man, doing working in a double-woman’s job? didn’t i have a family to raise and support? wasn’t i supposed to be making a genuine contribution to society to validate my manhood and very existence?
the important thing is that you know what you do is important. you know what you do makes a difference, that it helps better the lives of those people you interact with and, through them, helps to improve your community and the world.
’tis a pity you’ll also have to educate some of those whom you help to that fact as well.
peace & strength,
…
Posted by: fivecats | August 25th, 2008 08:51
omg
what a complete and total arse
and becuase you are awesome and lovely and care about your job and deliver great customer service he just assumes you are mindless. So mindless that you can do things he can’t
oh grrr
Posted by: sue | August 26th, 2008 00:49
Wow that is disturbing. Everyone should do what makes them happy, not what other people feel they should do. Too many people in the world feel the need to break everyone else down, instead of building people up.
My mom is a librarian as well.. and she gets the same level of respect at times. It seems alot of people don’t see the value of books in the digital age.
Posted by: Jason W. | August 26th, 2008 02:51
Even in a job that entails helping anyone, there’s still no helping some people. Sucky paradox! My sympathies.
FWIW, my first guess would be that because he intuits (on some level) that his enquiries aren’t making a difference to anyone’s quality of life, he doesn’t feel respect for you doing your job by helping his (pointless?) enquiries.
Then again, each of the unhelpable ones is unhelpable in his own way, so who knows? Sigh.
Posted by: Ned | August 26th, 2008 13:58
[...] Comments gingiber on grateful for san francisc…Ned on on real jobsJason W. on on [...]
Posted by: elsewhere « cygnoir.net | September 8th, 2008 11:04
I’m late to the comments as usual.
What. The fuck. Was he on.
Goddammit, this city is a lie.
Posted by: Jason | September 8th, 2008 12:32
sheesh.. well, as you say, if he has needed your help 20 times and doesn’t think you have a “real” job, I guess he doesn’t have “real” needs. Ignore the jerk.
Posted by: Art | September 8th, 2008 14:33
What a bunch of nonsense! I guess I’m in your father’s generation — since my daughter Melanie was born February 23, 1973 — and those stereotypical views were the norm back then. Librarians ARE important! So what if more women do the job than men. It’s still a REAL job. Good grief!
Posted by: Mike Goad | September 14th, 2008 19:13