complimented

Today I received a compliment of such magnitude that I can barely internalize it, hours later. It caused me to think deeply about self-worth, and how we decide whether or not we “deserve” compliments.

I put that in quotes because I wonder if it is relevant what we decide about someone else’s opinion. A genuine compliment is paid regardless of the agreement of the recipient.

For much of my life, I have struggled with the concept of what I deserve versus what I receive. With few exceptions, I have been what some have called blessed with good fortune, and that, coupled with a strong Roman Catholic upbringing, comes no small amount of concern that I have not earned it.

Yet we earn compliments without having to agree with them. It would be cleaner if we agreed, of course; it is rude to respond to a compliment with a negative statement, not to mention pointless (unless one is angling for the follow-up reaffirmation). Does the compliment, like the insult, say more about the giver than the recipient?

Posted on 14 Dec 2008 in Diary

Ned

I’ve noticed that “you’re the best librarian ever” can translate as “you’re the best librarian that I know of, that I can recall right now, based on my own inexpert understanding of the role”.

I don’t know if that would affect how I’d receive a compliment, but it does make me feel inhibited from using superlatives myself.

I think compliments and insults reflect the giver’s perception of the giver-recipient relationship… but that’s wordy.
http://pixiepurls.com pixie

people are so critical, I think anytime someone says something nice to us it’s okay to be excited or put into a good mood etc by it. Picking apart anything nice I think could ruin the simplicity of someone saying or doing something nice. I do get what your saying, totally… but I guess thinking about a compliment that much would probably just ruin it for me so I would rather be ignorant and happy someone said something nice! SOMETHING spurred the compliment, so why not enjoy it? :) heh.