to be moved

I hadn’t thought of you in a while, and
right when I saw the lanky brunette
swivel sideways in her plastic seat
to let someone out, I thought of you,
your skin and hair and bones,
so taut and shiny. You were the
epitome of “girl” in my world and if
I had a crush on you –
    we all did –
it was because I couldn’t take you apart.
I couldn’t see your separate parts.
You were effortless
and your cigarettes always lit the first time,
and I hated your perfect breasts
framed by your crisp denim jacket.

After we fought,
and after you left because we fought,
you became the woman on the train,
older and harder and still unwilling
to get up for anyone, to move or
to be moved. She swiveled and I saw
the back of your jacket, smelling of
Tide and smoke and grain alcohol, of
pride. Of what I thought you would give me.
Of what I thought I had earned.

– Halsted M. Bernard

mercenaries

These words are mercenaries.
They slouch outside the back door of this poem,
clouds of frosty air billowing around their heads,
belts and boots glinting in the flood lamp.

When it is time, these words slip inside,
carrying a box or a knife or an envelope.
The hallway is dim. The recipient waits.
A noise, half-sigh, half-groan, escapes.

Perhaps nothing happened. The front door swings open;
these words stumble out, playing drunk.
They cross the street and their posture straightens.
As the moon lifts, they head for the next poem.

– Halsted M. Bernard

links for 2009-10-19

• I Kept Playing — The Costs Of My Gaming Addiction – gaming addiction – Kotaku
  Compelling article by Mike Fahey, especially for those of us who have also struggled with gaming addiction.
  (tags: games addiction)

links for 2009-10-13

• Buy Food Gifts and Sell Artisan Food on Foodzie
  From the about page: "On Foodzie you'll find fabulous food and beverages made by small food companies. Many are foods you can't find anywhere else. They're all special in some way, whether handmade, following old family recipes, incorporating unique ingredients, etc. We work closely with the companies you see on Foodzie, to make sure what you buy here is food that we ourselves would enjoy, crave, and want to give as gifts."
  (tags: food shopping gifts)

links for 2009-10-12

• Ron Moore calls Star Trek's tech "meaningless"
  Thank goodness Ron Moore explained this all for us! Perhaps he should have spent a little of his high-tech explaining skills on the ending of his own series.
  (tags: tv startrek writing technology)
• Alienate Your Female Customers? Pepsi Has An App For That
  Pepsi advertises its Amp product with an iPhone app that "teaches" one how to "score" with 24 different "types" of women. I don't buy Pepsi products, and now have no reason to ever start.
  (tags: pepsi socialmedia marketing women)
• Truthdig – Arts and Culture – The Victims of Pornography
  This is an excerpt from Chris Hedges' book "Empire of Illusion", which I enjoyed reading and would recommend without hesitation.
  (tags: pornography america culture media sexuality)
• Alex Payne — So You're Moving to San Francisco
  Although (or perhaps because) I have been here for 10 years, I found myself agreeing wholeheartedly with some parts of this post, particularly this quote: "What sickens me most about San Francisco is not its dirt, or its large homeless population, or its questionable safety, but that locals and the city government seem to accept these circumstances." And, of course, this: "Unreliable and inadequate public transit, paling in comparison to most any other major city in the world."
  (tags: sanfrancisco advice)

links for 2009-10-10

• Journeys – Tea in Portland, Oregon – NYTimes.com
  Subtitled "Beyond Tea and Crumpets in Portland".
  (tags: tea portland travel)

complicated

Years ago, I wanted to be a complicated woman. It wasn’t that I wanted to complicate others with my idiosyncrasies; I just wanted my open book to be in a different language. Then knowing me would be an accomplishment instead of an afterthought.

Laziness or honesty won out. Now when I am disappointed that I have no secret weapon, no smouldering look or poison kiss, I console myself with my own economy of movement. There is what I want: I aim myself at it. Who cares if everyone knows? Leave the mystery to the mysterious; they are willing to take the long way home.

yellow pages

He puts his head on his hand, elbow beside the yellow pages. He scans the names and numbers, pausing to smirk at a funny bunch of letters. Today the book is of Reno, Nevada. He has never been to Reno, but he pictures it like Orinda in July, only flatter. Once he went to Orinda for a family picnic. It wasn’t his family; it was the family of a woman he tried to love. She tried to love him back. After a few years, the attempts weighed more than the result, and they parted over a steak dinner. After that, steak always reminded him of not knowing what to say.