The Week in Tweets on 2010-11-28

• Playing Skippity for the first time. This is going to be big. http://instagr.am/p/U0c-/ #
• This clip from the movie Funky Forest is one of the most bizarre things I have ever watched. It is NSFW… | beak http://bit.ly/desGYH #
• Badge turned in, office almost packed up, email nearly sorted, & I'm savoring a gigantic gluten-free last-day-of-this-job chocolate cupcake. #
• Zen is sick. Time for the vet. http://instagr.am/p/WdUK/ #
• Back from the vet. Zen was scared, which translated quickly into SCARY. Falconry gloves were used. Now she lounges in the sun near Torgi. #
• Why would anyone kill a swan? RT @sfappeal: Remaining Palace Of Fine Arts Swan Moved Into Protective Custody http://t.co/xGLZRUA #
• Today I give thanks for so many things, the first being Zen's scratchy meows as she begged for her breakfast. #
• My newly-minted mom-in-law made me gluten-free stuffing, pumpkin pie, AND pecan pie. All that plus gluten-free gravy? I win Thanksgiving. #
• I am downgrading my Netflix subscription and trying out Hulu Plus. Sign up & get 2 weeks free! http://t.co/Fkp24c8 #
• Video: Hate E-mails with Richard Dawkins (via Prophiscient) http://tumblr.com/xo4s3hunb #
• I know Zen is feeling better because she is hanging around the kitchen as I cook, hoping for risotto. (I have never given her risotto.) #
• On the N again. http://instagr.am/p/YylL/ #
• Secondgiving drink list! http://instagr.am/p/Y5jH/ #

Not quite buddies.

Torgi and Zen

Originally uploaded by cygnoir

You can’t force buddy-dom, especially in the world of cats. Torgi and Zen were introduced when they were already adults, and each was quite used to being an only child.

I am realistic about what this shot captures: Zen sought out the only patch of sun in the house, and Torgi happened to be near it. Still, I consider this peaceable sharing of space an accomplishment.

I still hope they will become buddies one day.

Giving thanks for tortitude.

I will save you the parade of past Thanksgiving entries. If you’re into that sort of thing, all you need is the “Thanksgiving” tag. Yay for folksonomies!

Zen the cat is almost entirely herself again after a terribly close call, and I am overjoyed. She is eating and drinking without incident, and her usual playfulness has returned. Her throat seems a bit scratchy yet, but she is regaining some of her talkative tortitude.

Now I think I am ready to relax and get into the spirit of the holiday. I am thankful that you are reading this right now, and hope you have a wonderful day, Thanksgiving or otherwise.

Bad parenting.

To sum up the Zen situation: she seems to be feeling much better tonight. She has been suffering since Monday of lethargy, vomiting, diarrhea, and loss of appetite, and she vomited twice this morning even though she hadn’t eaten much last night, so it was time to take her to the vet.

The trip to the vet was as exciting as ever. Zen is perfectly happy to go into her carrier and be lugged anywhere in the world. She is somewhat less happy to be outside of her carrier at the vet’s.

I never, ever want to hear Zen like that. Basically, it sounds like someone is skinning her alive. She screams and hisses and tries to claw anyone who gets near her. The vet tech had to wrap her in a towel and was wearing serious-looking protective gloves while she did it. Zen would calm down for a few seconds when she heard my voice, but when the vet tried to do anything at all to her, she wasn’t having it. At all. I was shocked that they were able to weigh her, take her temperature, draw blood, and give subcutaneous fluids. That team is impressive.

So the vet thinks that Zen may have been poisoned by chewing on the stem of a calla lily that I thought was out of her reach. I discovered the gnawed-on stem today. Calla lilies are toxic to cats and dogs, and so I am feeling suitably wretched for being an inattentive parent. We will know more on Friday when the lab results are in if her kidneys are failing. Calla lilies are not the most toxic lilies, so there is some hope, plus her symptoms do not seem to indicate kidney failure. Still, I am worried and torturing myself over my stupid mistake.

Since the vet’s, she has tried to eat a few times, but her usual food mystifies her; she grabs a kernel in her mouth and tries to gobble it (she usually does this instead of chewing) but parts of it fall back out of her mouth. I gave her some of the special wet food that the vet suggested and she cleaned her plate within minutes. She has not vomited since 07:30 today. Again, I am hopeful.

This was an exciting first day of unemployment.

I suck at celebrating.

My friend Hawk said this to me just now, and it is true. I am in my pajamas, drinking tea and pondering sleep, even though I have nowhere to go tomorrow morning and potentially nowhere to go in a morning-time for a long time.

The rest of the creatures in the house are already asleep. One creature in particular is feeling very sick. My dear Zen has lost her appetite and is incredibly subdued. She drinks water from time to time, and eats just a little, then leaves her dish and wanders off to rest fitfully. Tomorrow may hold a trip to the dreaded vet if she does not feel better in the morning.

My last day was just about how I expected it to be, but with much better food.

Most of the food pictured above was gluten-free! I was suitably impressed.

There were goodbyes and presents and hugs and awkward moments and there was even a suitably bizarre patron interaction to send me off in style.

It will take a while for me to believe it is over. I thought about taking a photo of my badge before I turned it in or of my office before I turned out the lights, but I do not know what I would see when I looked at those pictures in the future. Certainly not the same ambivalence I feel now; that will wash away soon enough.

It would have been easier to be raucous and drunk tonight.

the end of this meme and of my job

For the photo a day meme: a photo of you when you were happy.

Today I am happy. Tomorrow is my last day at my job.

I still believe in the public library’s importance to society, perhaps now more than ever. Some of my colleagues do so much with so little; their perseverance inspired me to pursue an advanced degree in the field. Each day brought a new challenge, and I tried to meet each one with tenacity and grace. I learned more at this job than in all of my prior jobs combined, not only about libraries but about the world and about myself.

But my job has changed me in some ways I can no longer abide. I do not like who I have become and I do not like what I have sacrificed in order to deal with the reality of my day-to-day.

This decision was not made lightly, and could not have been made at all if not for my husband’s dedication to my well-being. I have not always been good at discerning when or how to sever ties with parts of my life, but this time I do so on my own terms with my touchstones of honesty and compassion intact.

I do not yet know what my next venture will be, but I am moving forward with confidence and hope.

a photo a day, day 29

For the photo a day meme: a photo of someone you find attractive.

Indeed.

The Week in Tweets on 2010-11-21

• This makes me so happy. Via laughingsquid: New TMBG logo | beak http://bit.ly/9qjuOe #
• My Top 3 Weekly #lastfm artists: Sarah Vaughan (16), Ben Folds (11) & Dntel (9) http://bit.ly/9AOZf1 #
• My avg. daily #fitstats for last week: 4,832 steps, 2 miles, 1,780 calories burned via my fitbit http://www.fitbit.com/user/22D4J8 #
• Nightmares three nights running: earthquakes, zombies, plague. And all of them preferable to being made to feel lousy at work. #
• Accident on tracks in Inner Sunset; unclear what happened, but inbound N trains are stopped. Now on a packed 6 bus. #munifail #
• I feel very close to the failures of my heart today, and closer to the lessons those failures have taught me now that I am listening. #
• I envy you JoCo Cruise Crazy cruisers … check out that lineup! http://jococruisecrazy.com/ #
• Peppermint mochas have an outstanding cost to happiness ratio. #
• Opt Out of the Airport Scanners for Health and Privacy – We Won't Fly .com http://t.co/QGAXIKV via @WeWontFly #
• My "I survived another workday" playlist starts with Total Eclipse of the Heart and ends with me falling asleep on the train. And drooling. #
• Airplane Terrorism Twenty Years Ago http://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2010/11/airplane_terror.html #
• Muni : San Francisco :: AT&T : iPhone. #
• Woke to the damp and dulcet tones of the Crypt Keeper eating chicken wings. No, wait, just my cat licking her toes. #
• I am skipping the 100 books meme. I don't need to remind you or be reminded of my misspent youth in the company of books instead of people. #
• I accidentally left my reusable bag at home today. One raindrop hit the paper bag & it vomited groceries all over the road. Go green, y'all. #
• Thunder and lightning! In San Francisco! We have a thunderstorm! This is apparently why the exclamation point was invented! #

fountain pens and mountain man

It is starting to rain again. The kitchen is an unholy disaster, which can only mean that FunkyPlaid and I just spent a fantastic evening hosting dear friends for dinner. Both cats are in my study, restless yet too lazy to shepherd me into bed. I am tired without sleepiness, and I should be doing homework but instead I am listening to Mountain Man and uninstalling horrible browser extensions that tell me too much about things that don’t matter.

I am thinking about things I want to do that require some planning, like going to The French Laundry and visiting Las Vegas and knitting something significant like a whole sweater that someone actually wears. That is about as far as I have gotten: thinking about them.

At the Flax pen fair, I tested some pens from Taccia and Online, but nothing that really impressed me. The four pens I always carry with me — Lamy 2000, Namiki Vanishing Point, Pelikan M 400, and Sheaffer Prelude — are tough acts to follow. I spoke with the Visconti rep for a few minutes, and she told me that the Van Gogh Midi I own is no longer in production, but that Visconti will be introducing a brand-new pen with the Van Gogh name next spring. I tested the Visconti Homo Sapiens, which was about as ridiculous an experience as I expected, meant in the best way. It has the most flexible non-gold nib I’ve ever felt. Also, its barrel is partially made from lava from Mt. Etna, and its metal parts are made from bronze to symbolize the Bronze Age. If I had bigger hands and a penchant for flashy pens, this would be it for me. Instead, I searched for the Pelikan M 320 because I would like to start collecting smaller pens, but had no luck. If Pelikan ever made a 320 in transparent aubergine, my head might explode.

After making several rounds and talking to my favorite pen sellers, I picked up a bottle of Noodler’s Cayenne and ordered a couple of pens on FunkyPlaid’s behalf, but otherwise left empty-handed. I have too many pens now to just buy whatever looks interesting, regardless of how tempting that might be. My next likely stop is vintage pens, since I have seen many smaller-sized older pens, but I have so much more to learn first.

Now I have written myself into sleepiness. Someday I will figure out how to make this fascination of mine sound more exciting.

a photo a day, day 28

For the photo a day meme: a photo of something you cooked or baked.

Really? I never take pictures of food. This prompt is so awkward.

… not really. But it made me notice that for all the food photos I take, I hardly ever take photos of what I cook. I would like to change that.

Pictured above: eggs in ham baskets and breakfast risotto.