HIDWtS: Thanksgiving in Scotland.
This Thanksgiving edition of How I Decide Where to Sit is dedicated to reviewing all the rookie mistakes one can make when riding public transit in a new city for the first time, because it is kind of like what the Pilgrims did when they– no. Even I can’t torture that metaphor. It is dedicated to rookie mistakes because I made them all today and I need to laugh about them with you. I waited thirty minutes for a bus whose arrival time as reported by the phone app was stuck at "21:39" before giving up and walking to a stop of a different bus that seemed to be showing up every ten minutes. I assumed that the stops for the line going inbound were in generally the same place as the stops for the line going outbound. I forgot about the driving on...
Read MoreHIDWtS: Sleep deprivation.
After yet another terrible night of sleep, I was looking forward to work today, figuring that some semblance of a routine would keep my mind occupied and focused. Holiday weekends are wonderful but I need structure to flourish. Otherwise there is everything to do, all at once, and nothing gets done. My sleep schedule also goes wonky, not that it matters when I can’t fall asleep. My shift is a little later for a couple of weeks as I cover for a coworker’s vacation, so I had to look up the shuttle timetables and plan out my commute, something I have not done for many months. I could make excuses as to why this stymied me — lack of sleep being foremost, along with excessive mistrust of public transit — but truly I was surprised at how much I...
Read MoreHIDWtS: Secret club.
For seven months, I have been stumped, not by a puzzle or a game, but by a shuttle. When I board my shuttle in the mornings, it is already nearly full. I figured there must be another stop somewhere, but there is only one listed on the schedule. One morning I worked up the nerve to ask a fellow passenger where this might be. Her answer was snottily unintelligible, so I didn’t ask for clarification. I am no stranger to the world of secret clubs. Why, I have been excluded from some of the very best of them. So I got the hint: the first shuttle stop is a secret, and one I have to figure out for myself so I can crash it and make the secretive people really unhappy. It’s not that I want to ruin anyone’s good time. Except that I do. I really, really...
Read MoreHIWDtS: Bye-bye, lady.
Every once in a while, I encounter the N-Judah Greeter. He is a sweet man who says hello and waves to everyone who boards the train, and says goodbye and waves to everyone who leaves. Most people avoid catching his eye, because that is his signal that it is okay to wave and talk. He spends a lot of the time in suspended animation, looking expectantly at each new passenger, hoping for eye contact. As soon as the person looks up, he waves and exclaims, “Hello!” Women get a “lady” tacked on the end. If the person does not respond, he repeats himself a few times, then stops and moves on to the next person. If you, like me, respond, then there is a short script: “Hello, lady!” “Hello!” “Where are you...
Read MoreHIDWtS: Instruments of torture.
O, hello. I am glad you are still here! The end of the semester was a little harrowing, but now there is a moment to breathe and obsess over seating arrangements. I am not great at it yet, but for the past month I have been knitting while commuting. This is much more productive than dozing off, and it keeps my restless brain occupied. There appear to be two ways of dealing with a knitter on public transit. One is to avoid. In the wrong hands, a knitting needle could do some serious damage, maybe even a d4′s worth. Very scary. Also, I have a terrifying presence, so anything sharper than an oven mitt in my hand is incredibly intimidating to the average person. The other way is to ask a hundred thousand questions about knitting, how to knit, the history of...
Read MoreHIDWtS: Dance with me.
Previously, I confessed my deep and abiding affection for sitting in The Pocket while on Muni, as well as my irritation with the Blockit No Pocket phenomenon. But a few people showed me the error of my ways. The Pocket can be hard on the knees, and it is the most cramped seat on the train. The Blockit has a nice one-knee freedom, plus it faces the middle accordion section, which is nominally exciting as it twists through turns while above ground. Last week, while enjoying the rebellious luxury of my own Blockit No Pocket, I spotted an older woman having some trouble getting seated before the train started up again. She was holding onto the bar in the middle accordion section as she tried to walk to the baseball seats. From the looks of her grip and the...
Read MoreHIDWtS: Home run.
Between the middle accordion section of a LRV and one set of doors are four seats. Because they face inward instead of forward or backward, passengers who sit in them often slide to and fro with the braking and accelerating of the train. These seats are named, in order from the middle to the doors, after the bases of a baseball diamond because of their exquisite sliding powers. They are usually filled up in the following order: First Home Base Second or Third, depending on how inoffensive the people sitting in First or Home happen to be whatever is left On less-filled trains, I like to keep score. I once saw a very inebriated and slippery person get a home run. I ride a shuttle to work. It is a really nice shuttle and the first time I have ever had this...
Read MoreHIDWtS: Cheek to cheek.
[Ed. note: This is almost a week overdue, thanks to the ridiculous summer cold I caught. Lucky for me, seating is timeless!] Let’s talk express. Let’s talk hard facts and numbers. Or let’s just talk about rear ends, because that is all I remember from my first experience with Muni’s Nx bus. With all of the nightmare-laden nights I have experienced lately, I am beginning to ponder the efficacy of a routine nightcap. Nothing too heavy, mind, but something that will knock me the hell out until morning. Last night’s theatrical production was a garish parade of grotesquely-exaggerated characters from my past. They weren’t doing nice things like sitting quietly on a luxury shuttle, either. By the time I left the house, I was...
Read MoreHIDWtS: Holiday catch-up edition.
The past few days have been spent in a homework daze peppered with obsessive Google+ fidgeting, and then I actually left the house on Saturday, Sunday, AND Monday to do offline things, which was weird and also good. But now there is catching up to do! This morning, I boarded a mostly-full shuttle and beelined for the newspaper-reader. Yes, that’s right, crinkly, smudge-prone pages and all. My reasoning is simple: every time I sit near someone reading a physical newspaper, I get the news. Either the reader tells me something interesting (to them only, maybe) that is happening, or I peep the pages myself. Sure, I could buy a paper, or read the news on my phone, but I have extremely low initiative when it comes to things that are boring and repetitive. Both of...
Read MoreHIDWtS: Don’t be that guy.
Some days I have a clear picture of what is right and what is wrong. Per yesterday’s post, there are unspoken rules that are pretty obvious. When they occur, passengers are fazed, or are at least slightly less apathetic than usual. Other days, I am just not sure. There is one Muni seating situation that never fails to throw me because it seems wrong yet fazes no one but me: Blockit No Pocket. You know how much I love sitting in The Pocket. As much as I love that, other people love sitting in the Blockit without anyone sitting in The Pocket. In general, I do not understand the habit of sitting in the aisle seat to block off the window seat. It’s not like I can’t see the empty seat next to you. Worse than this is when I attempt to sit in the...
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