shut up, it’s just cereal

I did not know that my T-Mobile voicemail could get any more messed up. It has. Now I no longer receive a text message for new voicemail, which would be fine if the Sidekick 2’s voicemail indicator worked properly. It doesn’t. Plus, sometime yesterday I received five voicemail messages but could only access one of them. I also have lost my greeting schedule, which was set to inform people during my working hours that I keep my ringer off because, well, I work in a library. Not that my ringer profile was set properly, because it wasn’t.

I also did not know that you burn calories while you sleep. Not many, of course, but it makes sense. So I need to get more sleep, and not just because my right eye is twitching something awful, always an indication that I’m not sleeping enough. We won’t talk about the visual disturbances. (P.S. That is a nice way of saying “hallucinations”.)

My new personal trainer is nothing less than awesome. Not only is he teaching me about the importance of sleep, but he’s got me on free weights instead of those dreadful machines. And we talk about how to raise my metabolism, which means I have more energy and get to eat more food. Mm, food. Mm, food the MSG makes for me.

So I have been a little sleep-focused, which for me means nightmares. The last one I had was of my friend M. We were in a grocery store in Ohio and he was crying, crying, unable to find cereal in any of the aisles that stretched on for days, and it was so crazy, I wanted to hit him in the arm and say SHUT UP it’s JUST CEREAL but at the same time I knew it wasn’t about cereal at all. It was about a girl. Because that’s just how these nightmares go: I can’t console someone who needs it desperately, and I end up so frustrated that I want to hit him but not really him but me. Also I paid $8.41 for a bottle of water. Talk about a nightmare.

7 thoughts on “shut up, it’s just cereal

  1. Wait…wha–? My right eye twitches all the time, but I thought it was just stress. Sleep? Does HALSTED know things of an obscure and arcane yet medical nature?


  2. cornontheschwab

    Just switch to Nextel…you know you want too…:)

    I’ve been there with the lack of sleep, leading to twitching of the eye, and then…finally…”visual disturbances”!!! My cure…got sleep!!! 🙂

    *eye twitches* Lata…


  3. J. Steinhoff

    I am writing this post in defense of something near and dear to my heart… cereal. I was appalled and shocked to hear anti-cereal comments on this site. And so, I will use this open site to lend voice to those hurt by the callous comments of “it’s just cereal”.

    I personally owe my 2XL frame to Kelloggs. I have personally known the joy of an extra crisp Golden Graham floating in a sea of 2 percent milk. I can’t get enough of that Sugar Crisp. I am personally drawn into the ongoing geopolitical climate of The Flintstones as Barney tries to steal Fred’s pebbles. I am cookoo for Cocoa Puffs. I have made Chex mix several times, despite warnings that it will lead to stronger things. I have finished Team flakes where that HAVE stayed crunchy to the bottom of the bowl. I have eaten C-3PO’s cereal, even after they added chunks of Ewok in every bite. I still write to General Mills to bring back Froot Brute. I have chased Lucky the Leprachan for his delicious Lucky Charms. I have sailed repeatedly with Captain Crunch over endless seas of milk. I have spelled dirty words in my Alpha Bits. I have eaten Nabisco Shredded Wheat WITHOUT putting sugar on it. I have spent a lost weekend with the Quaker Oats guy, Tony The Tiger, and King Vitamin that has resulted in my being banned from the state of Mississippi. I count Count Chocula as a dear and personal friend. I have tasted the rare Smurf Berry Crunch, and it was good. I have tried to sink Cheerios with nuclear grade strawberry bombs. And when my Rice Krispies talk, I listen to their wisdom.

    I implore Halsted Mencotti Bernard to publically renounce her earlier comments to apologise for all of the oat, corn, bran, rice and wheat products whose feelings she has hurt.


    James Steinhoff, Cereal Lover

    PS – Also, Halsted needs to apologise to toast, milk, juice, fruit, and any other part of a nutritious breakfast that may of been offended.

    PPS – Except Pop Tarts. Pop Tarts are too uppity!


  4. Actually, Alton Brown’s latest book “I’m Only Here for More Food” gives a great recipe for homemade Pop Tarts.

    Far from being uppity, they’re quite, um, yummity.


  5. Yes! free weights require you to stabilize the load with your own muscles rather than letting the machine do it for you. The machines are safer. If you lose control of a free weight, it can fall on you. But, the other muscles brought into play to stabalize your back and joints when you lift a free weight greatly improves benefits of the exercise. Of course, one of the benefits of exercise is being able to eat more. … 🙂 … Also, an interesting factoid about the relationship between exercise and sleep is that muscle and bone tissues grow mainly while we sleep. So, getting an adequate amount of sleep will improve your training response, helping you to get stronger. Exercise also releaves stress. That may help you with your twitching eye. As for the visual disturbances, I don’t know.


Comments are closed.