Day 95 of Project 365: Dear Diary.

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For years, a grid-ruled Moleskine notebook was my diary tool of choice. Most of them are pictured here, but the Moleskines only represent a fraction of the larger collection. I have cracked a few open since the move, but re-reading them has largely been a negative experience. Bewildered naivete is so often trapped in these pages, ragged moths pinned to shabby cardboard.

So many times, I simply could not believe the worst in what was happening around me. Maybe I’m grateful for that part of myself; maybe that is what kept me going.

Do you read old diary/journal entries? Why or why not?

Writing from: my makeshift study in the dining-room. Listening to: Maxine the refrigerator as she chugs and wheezes.


Published by Halsted M. Bernard

An ever-molting black swan. Reader, writer, library director, over-enunciator. Listening + Unlearning. Opinions are my own. She/her. #BlackLivesMatter

6 thoughts on “Day 95 of Project 365: Dear Diary.

  1. “Do you read old diary/journal entries? Why or why not?”
    Hi Halsted, my dad kept a daily diary since 1950 and they are precious to me. It brings back deep down memories of how things were when I was a child. I try but don’t quite have the dedication to write every day like dad did. I suspect it’s just plain laziness.

  2. Interesting subject! I very rarely read my old journals and when I do it’s often a negative experience. In fact, once I destroyed several journals after re-reading them. I was most prolific during times when I was either extremely lonely or in a bad relationship, and they weren’t true journals but a collection of emotional outbursts and melancholy poetry & drawings. Re-reading them made me feel sorry for myself, regretful and embarrassed about who I was then. The writing was therapeutic for me then, but later it was therapeutic for me to let go of the past by destroying it—and I also took comfort in the fact that no one else would ever find those writings which I don’t want to represent me.

    However not all my old journals were like that and I’ve kept them. I only look at them when I start a Spring cleaning/purging project and your post plus the appropriate time of year makes me want to do that now.

  3. In my 50s now and often wish I had my old journals to give me insight into who I was then. Embrace what you see, feel, when you look back.

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